UN: Peacemaker

[suspectratio]

Hey. What the fuck do wolves eat?

Comments

[suspectratio]

Just kidding, man.
Your hair is safe with me.

[hulk]

Yeah, I'm keeping a hat on at all times regardless for this hypothetical meeting.

[suspectratio]

I still don't even know where the fuck you are, man. You can leave the hat off.

You wanna do a video food thing?

[hulk]

A what thing?

[suspectratio]

A thing where we sit down and eat food.
While talking.
On video.






Together.

[hulk]

I can't.

[hulk]

[ Shit. SHIT, why is he feeling bad about this. Dammit, dammit, dammit— ]

I have a flip phone. No real camera - not for video, anyway.

But minus that, I guess. Okay?

[suspectratio]

How do you watch your porn???

[hulk]

You watch porn on your phone???

[suspectratio]

You watch it on your TV?

[hulk]

I don't watch it at all but

I don't know, on your phone just seems
I mean, you take that everywhere and you'd think you'd want some. Privacy instead on a computer or something. I don't know??

[suspectratio]

Look, man. The government already knows everything there is to know about me. Waller made sure of that.

If they want to know that I get off to two chicks giving it up in an ice cream truck, chocolate syrup all over their titties, that’s on them.

[hulk]

Yeah, I'm

If the government wants to track me down, they're still going to have to work for it.

[hulk]

[ .....oh, that may have been too much information.

uh.

can he unsend a text??? maybe ]

[hulk]

[ Read ✓ 03:06PM

DAMMIT. ]

[hulk]

[ Okay, time to play this off. Shit. ]

I mean. Big Brother, am I right?

[suspectratio]

So you're hiding? Is that it?

[hulk]

To be fair, if I were looking to hide. Would I be answering random questions on the internet? You'd think I'd just be in a hut in Tibet or something. I don't think they have 4G out there.

[suspectratio]

Could be that you're really bad at hiding.

Go to a library. They've got computers with cameras there.

[hulk]

Maybe I'm just old school who doesn't believe in government overreach into the private sector.

I'm sorry, are you suggesting I eat in a library?? That's practically the second biggest rule, otherwise people get cheeto dust and grease on everything. C'mon.

[suspectratio]

You sound like my father.

All right, Goody-Two-Shoes. What's the other option for hanging out when you're like a million miles away?

[hulk]

Librarians work hard, okay, they don't deserve more trouble than they already get.

We could do the eating just. You know. Minus the video part. Just a regular call.

[suspectratio]

But I want to see you.

[hulk]

Trust me, you're not missing out on much.




But how about we see about working up to that. Baby steps. Pretty suree that's what you're supposed to do with meeting people from the internet anyway.

[suspectratio]

So you’re ugly.

It’s cool. I have another ugly friend. You two might get along. Want me to set it up?