UN: Peacemaker

[suspectratio]

Hey. What the fuck do wolves eat?

Comments

[hulk]

Health issues.

[suspectratio]

You okay?

[hulk]

I'm answering questions about wolves on the internet.

Which is to say I'm not dying.

[suspectratio]

I DID learn a lot from you...

[hulk]

See. It's all good.

[suspectratio]

Do you want a burger?

[hulk]

You don't even know where I am. But it's







Thank you anyway. You are still very, very strange but that's nice of you.

[suspectratio]

Oh. You're right.

I don't know your name, either.

I'm Chris.

[hulk]

Nice to meet you, Chris.

[suspectratio]

Sorry for being a dick earlier.

[hulk]

It's okay. I know a little bit about having bad days.

[suspectratio]

Me too, man.

You know, if we got burgers, I totally wouldn't drop condiments in your hair. Because I know you aren't into that sorta thing.

[hulk]

All right, yeah, I walked right into that one.

[suspectratio]

Just kidding, man.
Your hair is safe with me.

[hulk]

Yeah, I'm keeping a hat on at all times regardless for this hypothetical meeting.

[suspectratio]

I still don't even know where the fuck you are, man. You can leave the hat off.

You wanna do a video food thing?

[hulk]

A what thing?

[suspectratio]

A thing where we sit down and eat food.
While talking.
On video.






Together.

[hulk]

I can't.

[hulk]

[ Shit. SHIT, why is he feeling bad about this. Dammit, dammit, dammit— ]

I have a flip phone. No real camera - not for video, anyway.

But minus that, I guess. Okay?

[suspectratio]

How do you watch your porn???

[hulk]

You watch porn on your phone???

[suspectratio]

You watch it on your TV?

[hulk]

I don't watch it at all but

I don't know, on your phone just seems
I mean, you take that everywhere and you'd think you'd want some. Privacy instead on a computer or something. I don't know??

[suspectratio]

Look, man. The government already knows everything there is to know about me. Waller made sure of that.

If they want to know that I get off to two chicks giving it up in an ice cream truck, chocolate syrup all over their titties, that’s on them.