UN: Peacemaker

[suspectratio]

Hey. What the fuck do wolves eat?

Comments

[suspectratio]

Why would anyone need to pay for sex?

You just go out there and get it, man.

[hulk]

No, th-

Paying for the woman not to mind condiments spilled all over her. That's the only reason I can imagine somebody tolerating it because nobody would want that happening. And definitely nobody would continue doing any of

that

otherwise in that kind of situation.

[suspectratio]

Right, and you fuck enough badass babes to know this from experience? You've deep dicked a chick while eating a burger and she DID get all pissed about the condiments?

All right, 4QNKY$UCKMYNUT$.

[hulk]

What is wrong with you??

[suspectratio]

I'm talking to someone who isn't a red-blooded American, for one. That's upsetting.

[hulk]

Trust me, it can't be as bad as talking to a nationalistic sexist guy on the internet who may or may not be indulging in some exotic animal trafficking.

[suspectratio]

Sexist? I love women.

And I'm not a nationalist, fuckwad. I'm a PATRIOT.

[hulk]

Somehow I doubt that if you're okay getting condiments in their hair and thinking she'd be all right with that. Kind of speaks to a level of disrespect far as I can see.

Potato, potato but if it makes you feel better than go ahead.

[suspectratio]

You want me to spill pickles and sauerkraut in a dude’s hair instead? I’m cool with that, too.

[hulk]

...I'm sorry, what.

Wait.

Y
Okay. Was not expecting
Huh.

[suspectratio]

You don’t believe me? I’ll show you if you want.

[hulk]

Show??
Th

No. I'm going to call a preemptive and definitive no to that.

Just was surprised since I would think most bi people aren't so ardently
uh

[ Don't say gross. Don't say it. Find another word.




Shit, he can't think of another word. ]

[suspectratio]

Putting all queers in the same category?

Now who’s the sexist, narrow-minded, homophobic asshole?

[hulk]

Excuse me?? I don't think it's homophobic to hope that most queer people wouldn't be total assholes or abusers of condiments.

[suspectratio]

Bro, I’m just trying to feed my wolf.

[hulk]

So you are engaging in exotic animal trafficking.

Great. This is just better and better.

[suspectratio]

What are you, a narc??

[hulk]

No, just somebody who knows wild animals aren't pets for people who don't even know how to feed them properly.

[suspectratio]

That's why I'm asking, chucklefuck.

[hulk]

Completely skipping over the "wild animal aren't pets" part, what with needing specialized care and more space than any regular house can provide.

[suspectratio]

So, what, I'm supposed to send him to a zoo? Where he gets fucking picked on by all the bigger and better wolves for not being top of the pack? For being scrawny? And ugly? And near-sighted as fuck without his little wolf glasses? Out there walking with a little wolf limp because he's missing one of his little wolf toes???

THEY'LL FUCKING EAT HIM, YOU HEARTLESS, KNOB-DICKED BASTARD!!!

[hulk]

[hulk]

Okay, first of all... It's a zoo. Not high school. Wolves don't act like mean girl cheerleaders and jocks. That's a strictly human problem.

Second of all, you seem to be projecting a whole lot here. You should maybe talk to somebody about that after handing the wolf over to the appropriate local wildlife services.

[suspectratio]

(...)

You're sure?

[hulk]

About you projecting or the wolf being okay?

I mean, the answer is yes regardless but I want to be sure what you mean.