UN: Peacemaker

[suspectratio]

Hey. What the fuck do wolves eat?

Comments

[hulk]

What a coincidence. So am I.

smirkier?????

[suspectratio]

Oh, yeah?? What's your best secret, huh??

what??? smirkier is a word. as in describing a thing being MORE smirky than baseline

[hulk]

[hulk]

You didn't really expect that to work, right?

[suspectratio]

I did. You're good.

But seriously. Who the fuck are you? Are you even a patriot?

[hulk]

What, like the football team?

[suspectratio]

Not like the football team, you limb-dicked sonofabitch.

A patriot! Someone who bleeds red, white, and blue! Someone who understands how goddamn incredible this country is!

Where else can you eat a burger while getting your dick sucked without the girl complaining about getting mustard in her hair?

[hulk]

I don't think you can do that anywhere, actually. Never mind that's a really weirdly and uncomfortably specific example you pulled up there.

[suspectratio]

You know where you can do that shit?

America, buddy.

[hulk]

Yeah, going to have to say you're very wrong on this point.

I mean.

Unless you're paying a woman to do that and she's fully consenting to deal with mustard in her hair, I don't see this happening, but if that were the case then I'm pretty sure you could get that anywhere. At which point the question is why would you even want to pay for something like that.

[suspectratio]

Why would anyone need to pay for sex?

You just go out there and get it, man.

[hulk]

No, th-

Paying for the woman not to mind condiments spilled all over her. That's the only reason I can imagine somebody tolerating it because nobody would want that happening. And definitely nobody would continue doing any of

that

otherwise in that kind of situation.

[suspectratio]

Right, and you fuck enough badass babes to know this from experience? You've deep dicked a chick while eating a burger and she DID get all pissed about the condiments?

All right, 4QNKY$UCKMYNUT$.

[hulk]

What is wrong with you??

[suspectratio]

I'm talking to someone who isn't a red-blooded American, for one. That's upsetting.

[hulk]

Trust me, it can't be as bad as talking to a nationalistic sexist guy on the internet who may or may not be indulging in some exotic animal trafficking.

[suspectratio]

Sexist? I love women.

And I'm not a nationalist, fuckwad. I'm a PATRIOT.

[hulk]

Somehow I doubt that if you're okay getting condiments in their hair and thinking she'd be all right with that. Kind of speaks to a level of disrespect far as I can see.

Potato, potato but if it makes you feel better than go ahead.

[suspectratio]

You want me to spill pickles and sauerkraut in a dude’s hair instead? I’m cool with that, too.

[hulk]

...I'm sorry, what.

Wait.

Y
Okay. Was not expecting
Huh.

[suspectratio]

You don’t believe me? I’ll show you if you want.

[hulk]

Show??
Th

No. I'm going to call a preemptive and definitive no to that.

Just was surprised since I would think most bi people aren't so ardently
uh

[ Don't say gross. Don't say it. Find another word.




Shit, he can't think of another word. ]

[suspectratio]

Putting all queers in the same category?

Now who’s the sexist, narrow-minded, homophobic asshole?

[hulk]

Excuse me?? I don't think it's homophobic to hope that most queer people wouldn't be total assholes or abusers of condiments.

[suspectratio]

Bro, I’m just trying to feed my wolf.